Τα παρακάτω τελευταία λόγια δεν είναι πραγματικά διάσημα, δηλαδή δεν τα είπε και κάποιος γνωστός πριν πεθάνει. Τα βρήκα στις περιηγήσεις μου στο web (σαν τον Κολόμβο κι εγώ :p) σε μία σελίδα σχετική με RPGs. Τα παρακάτω λόγια, υποτίθεται, προέρχονται από παίκτες οι οποίοι ενσαρκώνοντας τους χαρακτήρες τους είπαν διάφορα ευφυολογήματα πριν οι χαρακτήρες τους πεθάνουν.
Τα RPGs (=Role Playing Games) είναι παιχνίδια όπου ο παίκτης ενσαρκώνει το χαρακτήρα ενός ήρωα (μαχητή, μάγου, hacker, αστυνομικού) σε διάφορες εποχές και διάφορα συστήματα.
Το αρχείο το οποίο κατέβασα εγώ από τη σελίδα (την οποία τώρα δε θυμάμαι διότι έχει περάσει καιρός) ήταν πολύ μεγαλύτερο από αυτό που παραθέτω εδώ.
Ο λόγος που έσβησα πολλές F.L.W. είναι ότι αυτός που τις διαβάζει θα πρέπει να έχει μια, τουλάχιστον στοιχειώδη, γνώση RPG, κάτι το οποίο δε συμβαίνει με το μεγαλύτερο μέρος των αναγνωστών.
Λοιπόν, μεγάλο πρόλογο έκανα, απολαύστε τις τελευταίες λέξεις ετοιμοθάνατων:
- "Let's go in."
- "I'll kill it."
- "Let me handle this."
- "Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?"
- "Click?? ...This doesn't come with ammo?"
- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
- "Trust me."
- "I never get lost."
- "Dammit, this thing won't die!"
- "Wonder what this button does ?"
- "There is no trap on the door, so let's open it"
- "Don't worry sir, we can handle it."
- "It's OK, I trust her..." ... *BOOM!!!!!!*
- "Stand back you wimps. I'll kill it."
- "Oops."
- "Trap? What trap?"
- "So what?"
- "Don't be silly. If this was really the ship's "SelfDestruct Button", do you think they'd leave it lying round here anyone could press it?"
- "Well, as long as I've stumbled into Princess Savitra's bedroom, I might as well try to seduce her."
- "All right, I guess Toronaga's right. There can't possibly be anything on the other side of this airlock. Why not open the damned thing."
- "Whistling sounds? Naw, they can't have a grenade launcher!"
- "Me first! Me first!"
- "Diamonds ... Gold... Saphires !!! Terry! Terry, we're rich, we're rich, we're fabulously wealthy !!!! ...Terry ..... Terry ??"
- "Let's walk this way."
- "I'm invincible!"
- "Don't worry. I know what I'm doing!"
- "Stop!"
- "No problem. That's easy!"
- "I think we'll have to reason with him."
- "Don't worry. I've got a plan."
- "I wonder what's in here?"
- "They don't look so tough."
- "I'm SURE there are no traps."
- "Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."
- "I'll open it."
- "It seems easy enough"
- "I think he can be trusted."
- "Those noises are probably nothing."
- "I'll pull the lever."
- "Oh no! Let's go help them!"
- "Run away!"
- "All clear, guys."
- "Wait a minute, didn't the old man say something about a curse?"
- "Bob, you have any grenades left? Throw me one..."
- a)"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."
b)"I told him it was a bad idea." - "Hey, we're out! We're safe!"
- "I'll try it on."
- "I'll kick the door in!"
- "It could be dangerous!"
- "I thought you brought the food!"
- "Uh guys? Hello? Anyone?"
- "Then I'll hit him back!" {spoken at the start of a bar brawl.}
- "Maybe we should just kill him."
- "I'll cover you!"
- "Don't worry, I can hit him! I can hit him!"
- "DO NOT OPEN"
- "Easy kill."
- "I've got you now!"
- "I open the door and see who it is." {in response to a knock on the door}
- "I really didn't know it was against the law."
- "Aha! So you're the killer!"
- "It doesn't look very fast; we can easily swim across."
- "I'm heir to the crown. They wouldn't dare!"
- "I've got better things to do than run your petty errands, your highness."
- "It'll be a short ocean voyage. One week's worth of food and water will be enough."
- "I won't fall in; I just want a better look at what's down there."
- "I think it's asleep."
- "Watch this."
- "I'll cut the red wire."
- "I jump from our car into theirs."
- "O.K. pal, take your best shot."
- "There's NO way they'll ever find us."
- "What could possibly go wrong?"
- "Guys, I'm out of ammo."
- "I give him the finger..."
- "Call me Kregor the Undying!"
- "Feel like surrendering ?"
- "I'm sure reinforcements will get here on time. They promised."
- "Say, what's that red dot on your forehead?" {laser sight}
- "I have a very bad feeling about this."
- "I think I'll rob that place."
- "I tell the guard to go fuck himself, but I say it in a nice way."
- "Open that door, slut!"
- "I'll try to fix it."
- "I step back as far as I can." {In an elevator}
- "I'll put my head in, and see what's inside."
- "So... who knows how to drive?" {noone knew but they didn't care...}
- "I knock at that door."
- "Let me control this steeringwheel now."
- "It probably just wants to be friends."
- "It doesn't look like anyone is hiding in here."
- "I light the torch. What do you mean there is a sizzling sound ?" * BOOM *
- "I'm so tired. I'll sleep during my watch tonight. Nothing will happen."
- "I never fall asleep during guard jobs."
- "Come on, do you really think they could throw a grenade through that small window ?!"
- "Hey, wake up, they're coming... For Heaven's sake, WAKE UP!"
- "No retreat, no surrender!"
- "Don't worry. This is just another empty room."
- "NOOO, don't touch anything inside..."* BOOM * {inside a laboratory}
- "Don't worry. This ship won't sink with this little water inside."
- "What happens if you touch these two wires tog..."
- a) "Don't worry, it's not loaded."
b) "Are you sure its not loaded ?" - "17,000 miles? That's ridiculous I can't believe someone would go that far only to kill me!"
- "Those fools are wasting ammunition! They couldn't hit the broad side of a barn at this distance..." *thud*
- "Don't shot, it's me."
- "The window isn't open, so he couldn't have gotten out, he must be still be in here." {absolutely right}
- "I jump down into the river to see how deep it is."
- "You? A GOD? Sure, right, then strike me down with lightning!"
- "Okay, let's see if I loaded this thing right."
- "Damn, I KNEW I'd forgotten something..."
- "I try to outrun the cops."
- "They can't shoot us at this speed!"
- "What do you mean this is a oneway street?!"
- John:"Only a idiot would stick his head out of that window...Hey Mark, stick your head out of that window."
Mark:"Okay." - "It always works in the movies."
- "Look out! I'm coming to save you!"
- "The laws of probability say that I should be able to climb this wall like that {snaps fingers}."
- "I'm still pretty sharp. I only had a few beers."
- "It's GUARANTEED against breakage!"
- "I have to. He insulted me. It's a matter of personal honor."
- "I'll try again."
- "Am I still bleeding ?"
- "You obviously don't know who you're dealing with."
- "I'm sure that noone saw us."
- "This disease is no lethal one."
- "What do you mean the ship is sinking ?"
- "I'll follow him down the alleyway."
- "Cool! Crocodiles!"
- "I thought you silenced the guard!"
- "Ah. Safety jackets are for pussies."
- "Don't worry. I've done this before."
- "Just see it as a proof for courage."
- "I was sittig here first."
- "You're a dead man, you hear me, a dead man!"
- "This is MY table."
- "What are these three glowing red dots on your chest for?"
- "Where is that damn assassin?"
- "Bloody Peasant."
- "Man, this water feels really funny."
- "Maybe you'd better not touch that?"
- "Sure I'd like to kiss her."
- "I pull the pin and count to three!"
- "I shoot at the Indians that are armed with guns, the ones with bows shouldn't pose much of a threat."
- "That bridge will hold our weight!"
- "We can hear the ocean? But we're in a sewer!"
- "Quick! Cover your eyes !"
- "If you shoot me, I'll drop the light and you'll be lost down here."
- "What archer ?"
- "I don't trust you."
- "Should they go all outside. I'll just stay here and steal a few things."
- "No, I haven't seen any invisible assassins lately."
- "You know, I'm sick of noone ever turning around to see what's chasing them."
- "I sit on the throne."
- "Go and finish my supper, woman. ...oops..., oh, oh no, um...forget it."
- "It's a bad idea to punch out rich people, isn't it ?"
- "What do you mean you forgot the Ammo ?"
Το WebSloth.gr ξαναζεί
Το WebSloth ήταν ένα από τα πρώτα ελληνικά χιουμοριστικά site. Ξεκίνησε το 2000, και η τελευταία του δημοσίευση ήταν το 2003. Αξίζει να θυμηθούμε πως τότε ακόμα δεν είχαμε καν ADSL στην Ελλάδα, μπαίναμε στο ίντερνετ με dial-up.
Για μερικά χρόνια αργότερα, τα άρθρα του WebSloth, τα οποία αγάπησε σημαντικός αριθμός επισκεπτών, παρέμειναν στο εγκαταλειμμένο site. Όμως το hosting δεν ήταν δωρεάν, ούτε η ανανέωση του domain, και αναπόφευκτα κάποια στιγμή το site κατέβηκε.
Ενώ κάποια τρίτα site και blog έχουν κάνει σκόρπιες αναδημοσιεύσεις, ήταν δύσκολο για κάποιον να βρει και τις 360+ αρχικές δημοσιεύσεις.
Αυτό το project είναι μια αναβίωση του WebSloth, με το αρχικό domain, και τα αυθεντικά άρθρα των Klidge, Icegubs, και των λοιπών συντελεστών.
Όπως καταλαβαίνετε, ορισμένα από τα άρθρα δείχνουν την ηλικία τους, καθώς δημοσιεύτηκαν 15-18 χρόνια πριν, όταν το διαδίκτυο στην Ελλάδα, αλλά και η τεχνολογία γενικότερα, ήταν αρκετά διαφορετικά.
Αν δούμε πως υπάρχει ενδιαφέρον από τους αναγνώστες, θα φροντίσουμε να παράγουμε και νέα άρθρα, στο ίδιο ύφος που αγαπήσατε.